Do I even want love? Poem

All I wanted is to be loved. But all I got was hatred, masquerading as love to slowly infiltrate my heart to break it.

Now I anticipate the fakers coming from a mile away. These snakes are subtle and evil. Under the pretense of good intentions are most people.

The world has robbed me of my innocence in the name of love. Caused unimaginable pain from the closest ones I’ve trust.

And rain down sorrows to the point of feeling like I’m going to go insane. One after the next has left my soul in profound grief and vexed. The world has hardened my heart like stone. My love has grown cold. And my emotions are froze. I feel nothing no more.

I want no love. I feel completely numb. And I don’t care about anyone. 

Have I confused love for hate, and got it twisted. Due to bad experiences and mistreatment. And not knowing what love really is?

I ask this, because how I am living isn’t right. I hurt others because my hurt is as black as the darkest night.  I see no bright light. I constantly go between fight and flight. Dealing with issues in my life. 

God reached out His hand. To save this drowning man.  The light of His love has pierced through the darkness of my heart. The sweetness of His love has borne witness to my spirit and solicited my love. All my troubles, I let go of. All the pain, fear and anger I leave to Him. He has made all things new. Giving me a clean heart and renewed in me a right spirit. Having a completely new and different view. 

Who He has set free is free indeed. Being a secret place for rest and harmony. Knowing God loves me. If you will just take one step towards the saviour my friend, all the darkness will end.

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