Dear Lord, I can’t take it anymore

Posted on by asherdc89

This pain inside my heart has got me thinking some bad things. It’s always with me. It follows me like a dark shadow on the wall.

Oh my God what has happened to me?

It feels like the weight of the world is crushing me. Sometimes I feel like I’m on the verge of either death or insanity.

It feels like my dreams of what I desire will never come to be. 

I feel alone in a big empty dark space, where nobody doesn’t really care. I feel invisible. I feel like a hopeless cause. I feel nobody doesn’t actually have any empathy anymore. 

I am often misjudged. Due to anxiety and depression. I am often misjudged because of my psychological dissociation. Being overwhelmed by pain, Where I don’t feel present. But a soulless machine that’s been put on autopilot that keeps going on, and on.

I am troubled. And I can’t seem to let it go. 

Each day it’s like, I’m falling deeper into myself, and I’m afraid. So very much afraid. I’m constantly questioning my insanity. I’m constantly questioning Is my life going to be cut short? 

Hoping, and praying for God to keep me.

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Published by asherdc89

Since 2010, I've experienced promptings, encouragement as well as assistance from the Holy Spirit. The promptings led me to the word of God. This was the start of my own personal journey as I sought after the truth. God was then calling me as I sought after the truth according to His word. The truth was leading me to the decision to give my life to Him. I gave my life to God on the 28th of January 2012. Instantly, I had the desire to share with others the truth of God, that God is a God of love, truth, righteousness, holiness, mercy and justice. I couldn't keep something like this to myself in a lost and dying world, a world in a fallen state, and a world steeped in confusion concerning the view of who God is. My journey wasn't without struggle though, I realised through suffering we come to know God. To not only be humble, but to be empathic and not detached from people who are suffering. Sometime in 2012, God inspired me to become a writer just after my prayer to fulfill my purpose, the purpose of the reason of my existence. My prayer was a reflection of Isaiah 43:1-7. So I started writing essays pertaining to His word. I shared what I wrote with my family and friends. Therefore, the aspiration to help people globally, came with the realisation to give God the honour and the glory. To be part of making a difference. The inspiration to start blogging was impressed upon me to do. Through prayerful guidence, I believe God has led me to this point, which I believe is for His glory.