The bride’s cry for her husband

Posted on by asherdc89

I have cheated on my first love, and broken his heart. I have hurt him in the strongest way. I have separated myself from him, seeking after other men.

Now he so far away from me. Further than a long distance relationship. To the point where I can no longer reach him. I often wonder where he is. Longing to be with him.

I remember when i was young, and the intimate times we spent together.  It was like heavenly sun rays, blissfully shining down on me all the time. Being secure in love. We were intertwined as one. Our conversations were deeply intense and mentally rewarding. I didn’t feel so alone in this world anymore.

I just can’t forget and let him go. The dreams of what we once had, won’t ever leave me alone. I miss him dearly. I’m still in love with him, and I don’t know how to tell him. I don’t think he even knows how much I love him.

These memories have hardened my heart against him. I try to erase them. When he’s near, he seems unreachable.  I pretend he doesn’t exist. I pretend he doesn’t matter anymore. But my heart aches for him. Only watching him from a distance.

I have looked for others to replace him. But he has left an imprint of his love upon my heart.

When we separated, a part of me became broken and lost with him. When we broke up, a part of him was left with me. I have never been the same since.

I am grievously sorry. I have wept uncontrollably. I have truly reaped what I have sown. And suffered the consequences. 

I pray for him to come back to me. I pray for the spark of our love to be rekindled. To ignite the flames of passion again. 

Lord forgive me for I have sinned.

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Published by asherdc89

Since 2010, I've experienced promptings, encouragement as well as assistance from the Holy Spirit. The promptings led me to the word of God. This was the start of my own personal journey as I sought after the truth. God was then calling me as I sought after the truth according to His word. The truth was leading me to the decision to give my life to Him. I gave my life to God on the 28th of January 2012. Instantly, I had the desire to share with others the truth of God, that God is a God of love, truth, righteousness, holiness, mercy and justice. I couldn't keep something like this to myself in a lost and dying world, a world in a fallen state, and a world steeped in confusion concerning the view of who God is. My journey wasn't without struggle though, I realised through suffering we come to know God. To not only be humble, but to be empathic and not detached from people who are suffering. Sometime in 2012, God inspired me to become a writer just after my prayer to fulfill my purpose, the purpose of the reason of my existence. My prayer was a reflection of Isaiah 43:1-7. So I started writing essays pertaining to His word. I shared what I wrote with my family and friends. Therefore, the aspiration to help people globally, came with the realisation to give God the honour and the glory. To be part of making a difference. The inspiration to start blogging was impressed upon me to do. Through prayerful guidence, I believe God has led me to this point, which I believe is for His glory.